


Lifelines

by Cats_Dont_Float



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I have no idea what to tag this with, M/M, Scars, but like a hopeful ending i guess??, dave is not mentally healthy in this, deliberately fast paced, i promise it's good though, not a completely perfect happy ending, overly descriptive because i've read too much poetry recently, this is a kinda vague fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:34:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21848797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cats_Dont_Float/pseuds/Cats_Dont_Float
Summary: During their three years on the meteor, Dave begins to lose himself to the endlessness of space and the emptiness of the meteor. Throughout it, he finds himself being pulled out of his own thoughts by Karkat, and a weird relationship develops into the one thing that both of them depend on to get by.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Lifelines

Space is vast and endless and so so dark. Sat on the roof of the meteor, staring out into the void, the Knight of Time feels every long, slow second of their journey ticking by, time moving leisurely around him as if it has nothing better to do, nor any reason to rush. Time doesn’t seem to work properly out here anyway. How can you tell the difference between day and night, day and week, week and year, when everything always looks the same? Every star, every planet, and every long, empty expanse of darkness blurs into one endless blur of space and time. Sometimes he imagines what it would be like if he tipped himself forwards a little, and just allowed himself to slip off of the roof, off of the edge, and float out into the great nothingness. Surely the long days of floating through space wouldn’t be hugely different from the days he spends wandering aimlessly through the meteor. Perhaps it would even be a welcome change.

The truth is, he’s always afloat, in some way or another. He drifts from room to room, from person to person, silent as a ghost, searching for something to grab onto and anchor himself to. But he doesn’t find it. There is nothing there. The meteor is cold, and quiet, and unnecessarily big, and in its empty rooms he begins to lose himself.

A place like that can suck the soul from a person if they don’t find someway to stay in their own mind. And so far, Dave hasn’t found anything to help him remember the person he’s supposed to be.

And then, amongst the days of endless staring at the ceiling, and staring out of space, and staring down at his turntables as he attempts to remember what music is supposed to sound like, something appears. Or rather, someone.

At first it’s nothing, just a few interactions when they both find themselves sitting awkwardly in the same room, usually can town or the common room, and then occasionally Dave starts sneaking in to watch movies with him. And amongst the mundanity of the routine of every other day, these occasional meetings stand out like lights in the length of the dark tunnel he’s hurtling through.

Space stays the same, a velvety black nothingness dotted here and there with stars and planets, and the days continue to blur into one uneasy blob of consciousness. But through the darkness a grey, clawed hand reaches out to him, and Dave grasps onto it tightly and lets himself be held on to. And eventually, they’re both clinging onto each other like lifelines.

At one point, Dave wakes up on the old, moth-eaten sofa in the common room to find that he must have fallen asleep tangled in Karkat’s arms. His laptop lies, abandoned, on the floor, badly alchemised popcorn spilled across the keys and few empty soda cans that were stolen from can town are scattered across the floor around it. He remembers watching hours and hours of old Earth movies, crying at stupid things like the sight of familiar cities and landmarks that no longer exist. He remembers Karkat holding him, comforting him, whispering strings of insults about the actors that made Dave laugh softly through his sniffles. Mostly, he remembers the feeling of gently pressing his lips to Karkat’s in a moment of weakness, desperate to be impossibly closer to him, to just feel something again. To just feel anything.

The troll stirs in his arms. Dave doesn’t know if Karkat remembers the night before, doesn’t know what Karkat feels about him, or about this whole situation. But then ashy-grey lips are pressing to his cheek as claws gently tug through tangles in his hair, and Dave closes his eyes in relief behind his shades and falls back comfortably into the contact.

Their relationship - if it can really be called a relationship - is unconventional. It doesn’t make sense to the others. Rose herself, when Dave occasionally sees her around, says she thinks it’s probably unhealthy. But she’s wrong. Because they have everything they need in each other.

They can go days, weeks, maybe months (who can tell?) without seeing each other, only to stumble across each other, or seek each other out in times of weakness, and fall back into their easy, comfortable routine. And every time Dave is reminded of just how much Karkat means to him. He’d call it love, if the anxious little voice at the back of his mind wasn’t constantly telling him that he was wrong about that.

He’s on the roof one day, and he’s pretty sure he’s been there for far longer than is healthy. His muscles are cramped, his throat’s dry, and his stomach aches with the dull pains of hunger. Not that it matters; he's immortal, nothing will kill him. It’s cold on the roof too, far too cold than should be possible for any human to withstand for long, and he’s sure he’s frozen in place at this point. Light footsteps behind him catch his attention, for he is always alert, always ready to be attacked, and he’s ready to pull a sword from his constantly equipped sylladex when someone suddenly sits down beside him with a familiar ‘oof’ that sends vapour trails of breath spiralling out into the impossibly cold air.

“I’ve been looking for you,” a not quite so human voice whispers, each word underpinned by a strange buzzing noise that only alien vocal chords could ever be capable of creating. It’s so comfortingly different from the norm that Dave’s used to, and he smiles faintly at the sound of that voice.

“Hey, Kat,” he whispers. His own voice is cracked from not being used in such a long time, but Karkat seems to understand, and reaches out gently for his hand before smiling softly at him. His teeth are crooked, his smile slightly sharp, and yet it’s a warming sight to Dave, who practically collapses into Karkat’s arms when he holds them out a second later.

Neither of them discuss their feelings, or how long it’s been since they last talked. Neither asks what the other has been doing. One day they’ll talk, one day they'll get better at admitting how they’re doing. But for now Dave’s happy to lift up his head and press his lips gently to Karkat’s, melting into a kiss that fills up the emptiness of his mind with a warm feeling that he’s pretty sure he could get used to.

The clock at the back of his head ticks continuously, and if he paid enough attention he could probably work out exactly how long is left of this trip., He doesn’t want to know, though. Whatever answer it gave, it would be too long and too short at the same time. Too long left on this meteor, and yet too short of a time left in which he’s guaranteed safety to just be with Karkat. He decides after that to start seeking the troll out more, to make the most of their time together, until they reach the battle that they’re hurtling towards.

And then they reach it.

And they reach the others.

And Dave’s too mentally exhausted to even pretend that he’s okay as he hangs onto Karkat’s arm as Vriska runs through battle strategies.

The battle passes far too fast, everything blurring together into one wave of adrenaline and fear. At one point Dave thinks he hears Karkat scream, thinks he’s lost him. But they’re fine. They’re both alive. Then they’re arriving at Earth C.

And everything is too much.

Overwhelming.

There’s the sound of chatter, laughter, cheering, even the occasional sob from those who are scared, or hurt, or lost something to the game along the way. But it overlays a horrible background silence that reveals just how dead this planet is. There is no life here yet, no buildings or species to fill up all the space. Nothing but a group of broken teenagers, huddled together under a strangely bright blue sky.

But there is a voice, strained from shouting but familiar all the less, calling his name, and then arms are pulling him against a soft chest. He looks up and spots a tired face peering down at him, mouth forming a bad attempt at a smile, and Dave attempts his own broken smile right back at him.

“We survived.” Karkat whispers quietly, and Dave feels a tear slip out from under his shades. He does nothing to catch it, and if Karkat feels the moisture seeping into his sweater, he says nothing about it. His legs shake under him, and both boys stumble and fall to the ground together, tangled in a small pile of painful memories and long, extended suffering as they both hold onto each other as tightly as they can, sharing their need for each other’s comfort and love.

Six months after they reach Earth C, it hits Dave that this is what this is. Love. It’s love.

It wasn’t just Karkat that pulled him through the darkness. It was love. Karkat’s love for him, and his love for Karkat.

“I love you,” he whispers into the silence of a bedroom where two people lay but neither sleeps. Karkat rolls over onto his side to look over at Dave, his eyes glowing strangely in the darkness and providing the only source of light in the room. He kicks out one unnaturally warm foot to bump it gently against Dave’s shin, then rolls further over to tangle their legs together and rests his head against Dave’s chest.

“I love you too,” he whispers back as quietly as possible, as if he’s scared of breaking some fragile thing that hangs in the air between them in the bedroom.

Karkat’s hands come up to gently rest against Dave’s arms, fingers trailing over patterns of scars that he has memorised by now. He traces them one by one, skipping the ones he knows he shouldn’t touch and paying closer attention to those that he knows need a little more love, his touch always soft and gentle and _safe_.

Every day is different and distinct now that they’re off of that rock. They make sure of that, going off on walks and exploring their area or attempting to learn to cook or visiting their friends, just something different every day. Anything to get them out of their house and out of their own heads. And for now, it’s working. For now, they’re learning, and healing as they go. Because as they long as they’ve got each other to hold onto, they’ve got everything they need.

In the solitude of a dark bedroom, the knight of time reaches out to grasp onto the hand of his boyfriend, lacing their fingers together, and takes a long deep breath of air, air that’s filled with hope of a new, better future. And Karkat just squeezes his hand gently with a tiny alien noise rattling at the back of his throat, nuzzling his face further into Dave’s neck as they both wait silently until sleep finally decides to pull them under. And when they wake from nightmares, the other is there, a lifeline for them to hold onto until the crashing fear subsides from their mind and an uneasy, cracked sort of peace falls back over them once again.

**Author's Note:**

> I've written this fic three times over the last year but it's never been good enough to post. Got home from an English lit class this morning and decided to just sit down and rewrite it and managed to do it in an hour and a half. Anyway I was supposed to post a different fic yesterday but I ended up going to the cinema to watch a romcom with my friends as christmas trip thing instead. There's probably one or two more fics to come before Christmas and then maybe I'll end up taking a few days break for the first time in a while.  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!!! :)


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